Corporate Pride: Knowing God’s Mind

August 3, 2012

Go on! You and your false modesty.  Whew!  Chick-fil-A’s president Dan Cathy finally came out of the closet recently as a living prophet of the Almighty, knowing the full mind of God, accurately and completely, without any reservation, when it came to the subject of human marriage.

From the Washington Post,

It’s not every day that the leader of a big business steps into a national debate that has the potential to offend many of its customers…Dan Cathy, president of the popular fast food chain Chick-fil-A, has done just that, saying, “we’re inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.   I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude that thinks we have the audacity to redefine what marriage is all about.”

SF’s local newspaper featured a letter to the editor with the same sort of thinking,

“I agree, 100 percent, on what Mr. Dan Cathy of Chick-fil-A said about same-sex marriage.  The Bible is the truth and when we go against it we go against God.  I know Barack Obama said it’s OK, but everything he says is a lie and he went against God’s word.”

So, when it comes to knowing God’s innermost thoughts, as he’s clearly expressed in the Biblical history of polygamous marriage and marriage made okey dokey by rape, Chick-fil-A President Cathy has freakin’ nailed it!  Chick-fil-A!  Chick-fil-A!  Who knew the Lord enjoyed deep-fat fried food so much?  Well,  (see video) sexual futurist Stephen Colbert did,

“One fast food company has drawn a line in the lard.  No surprise Chick-fil-A supports traditional marriage. Unlike KFC’s Double Down, two chicken breasts rubbing up against each other? That is nothing but a lesbian fantasy snack.” On former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum’s public support of the company: “That’s right folks, if you like Santorum, you’ll love Chick-fil-A sauce.  It’s a frothy mix of sweet and spicy.”

“But the greatest thing about this controversy is that we have finally managed to politicize yet another part of our lives. I’ve got to know what positions my food has taken on all the issues. For example, I love Carl Jr’s Western Burger.  It must be anti-ObamaCare, because it is clearly trying to kill us….After all, you are what you eat. And now, you also believe what you eat.”

Come, reason with us.

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2 Responses to “Corporate Pride: Knowing God’s Mind”

  1. Cesare Bonventre says:

    After destroying the pensions of untold numbers of employees at AIG & destroying Lehman Bros, Lord Blankfein decried,

    “I’m doing gods work”!

  2. admin says:

    Hi Cesare! We welcome your response but have had a hard time fact checking it. There seem to be a couple of problems: the name “Lord Blankfein” is probably Lloyd, eh? Also, can we document a source for the quote. Thanks again but we’re trying to avoid the urban myth rant.

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