Monogamy: An Insane Idea or Do You Just Suck at It? (Part 2)

November 25, 2014

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In Part 1 of this essay on insane attempts at monogamy we took a look at a recent Men's Journal article entitled "Is Monogamy Insane?": I started this essay hunkered down in my basement apartment, more or less in hiding as the forces of decency closed in. A few streets away was one woman I'd been dating, from whom I was on an un-easy hiatus. The next neighborhood over lived the other woman I was dating. ...What I should have done was tell both women that I wasn't ready to commit to an exclusive relationship – though this would have meant losing them both.  At the last possible minute, inflicting the maximum emotional damage on all concerned, I finally chose one....  Had I just committed myself to an exclusive relationship...? Yep, you did.  Turn it around and imagine she is dating or "seeing" someone else.  Imagine even that she had sex with someone just before going on a date?  Does she owe anyone a disclosure?  Or isn't it true that all parties involved have a responsibility to set and maintain their own boundaries?  As in, "Why yes, I'd love to go out with you on a date, that...

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Monogamy: An Insane Idea or Do You Just Suck at It? (Part 1)

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Even people who have a lot of sex (or at least try to) often labor under the irrational belief that they're comfortable talking about sexuality.  They are mostly wrong.  Even educated adults who "do it a lot" often mistake a discussion about coitus or intercourse for a discussion about the bigger topic of sexuality and a subtopic that could be called "relationship technology."  Consider a recent Men's Journal article entitled "Is Monogamy Insane?": I started this essay hunkered down in my basement apartment, more or less in hiding as the forces of decency closed in. A few streets away was one woman I'd been dating, from whom I was on an uneasy hiatus. The next neighborhood over lived the other woman I was dating.  ...I'd been dating the two women for a few weeks – not an unheard-of or unethical practice – but after half a dozen dates with each, I got the feeling that it was time to let them know that I was seeing someone else.  ...Both appreciated my honesty but informed me that they could not continue to see me as long as I was seeing someone else. Both insisted this was not an ultimatum and got irritated...

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Race to the Bottom

November 24, 2014

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Different members of the Sexual Futurist Community think, well, differently.  We differ in our reaction to the education scandal in the Gilbert, Arizona where the school board (helping a student at left) recently told students to tear out the pages of their AP Biology text that referred to contraception, abortion, tubal ligation and lots of other forbidden knowledge--forbidden, that is, if you're living in the Middle Ages.  The pages involved are forever preserved (and now universally distributed) by the inestimable Rachel Maddow.  The following represent the thoughts of one member of the SF Community. The seventeenth century English philosopher Francis Bacon said, “Knowledge is power” and for nearly four-hundred-years this simple statement has been accepted fact.  In October, The Gilbert Public Schools Governing Board in Gilbert Arizona voted to remove all mention of contraception from the human biology curriculum, while leaving chapters on human reproduction intact.  The district plans to replace the missing chapters with a program of “abstinence only education.” The chapters were removed because of lobbying efforts made by the somewhat ironically named organization Alliance Defending Freedom.  Although with whom they are allied with and what freedom they are defending remain unclear. I am helping to raise...

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